Nothing good is going to come of a situation that involves being in a cage with a wild animal at the zoo. Nothing. And yet, people keep putting themselves in situations where- despite warnings from the zoo and others around them- they come face to face with lions, tigers, and bears (oh, my). Obviously these people weren’t rocke scientists or else they wouldn’t have ended up in such a precarious predicament.
1) Man Loses Kung Fu Fight With Lion
In 1989, 32-year-old Australian man Ellie Quo decided to seek out a martial arts matchup that would test his awesome new skills in Kung Fu.
Told by his instructor that he had reached a level in his training where “you can kill wild animals with your bare hands”, the misguided student decided to follow his instructor’s words to the letter and sought a fight with a lion at the Melbourne Zoo.
In the middle of the night, he snuck into the zoo in true ninja stealth style, scaled the lion enclosure and surveyed the pen to see which of the mighty warriors would die by his hands. Thing is, there were a whole lot of lions to choose from and rather than let this one tiny scrap of human get in a single punch, they all ganged up on the guy and ripped him to shreds. Literally.
The next morning zoo keepers found Quo’s fists of fury- and nothing more- in the lions’ enclosure. In his cold, dead hands were tufts of red fur, proving that gingers in the animal kingdom do in fact have souls (because they eat them).